Looking For God

I think it is pretty safe to assume that there isn’t one person out there, that hasn’t searched for God in one way or another at some point in their lives. Even those of us who call themselves atheists, I believe have wondered about who God is or where to find him. I have been looking for God for many years, until I finally found him within. There has been many, many sources that have provided me with the answers to my biggest questions.

What you are about to read below, more or less  summarizes my own journey to find God. I realize it is a much longer post than usual. But trust me, spent the few minutes to read it, and I promise you it will be worth it. Regardless if you are still searching for God or have already found him, I think you can still learn something new from the excerpt below

In this post, Nikki is telling Dylan about her past. In this particular conversation, Nikki is describing her journey on looking for God through Organized Religions and finally finding God within her – Page 345

{ “Disappointed that her Bishop tried to dissuade her zealous enthusiasm, she took his advice and read the Book of Mormon, The Old and New Testament, and attempted to discern their hidden treasures. Although she found many beautiful truths, she also found one contradiction after another. How could a God who claimed to be omnipresent be separate from mankind? How could a God of justice send people out to perform acts of unfairness and prejudice time and time again? How could God claim to love all his children yet claim elite status for a few? How could God, the great creator, be a God of utter destruction? How could a God of love and peace condone and order murder in order to have his plans prevail? One who we say rewards, then punishes? One who we say accepts without judgment in unconditional love and then, rejects? Who brings all good and then visits evil upon his children when they disobey his will? How could this God, in whom I believed, be both benevolent and malevolent at the same time? What these scriptures described was in fact, the behavior of man.

“Completely discouraged by these three books, little Miss Nikki looked for truth in other quarters. Naturally, she first sought it through her father’s religion – Catholicism. But their beliefs were based on the Bible, which she had already studied and discovered had been bastardized over time to control the masses. After studying about the Nicean Council and how they altered original writings, even deleting a few, etc., Nikki knew that basing her spiritual beliefs on these books would simply not be enough.”

“So, what did you do?” Now completely engaged, Dylan rolled to her side so he could see the expression on her face while she told her tale.

“Like any devotee on a pilgrimage, our character set out to look at other organized religions. Drawn by the tenets of Buddhism, she quickly became aware that having been born in western civilization, she lacked both the ability and aspiration to depress her wordly desires in order to reach enlightenment. Somehow it seemed not only too physically restrictive, but also spiritually restrictive, as if their God detested all the Earth and those upon it. Once again, her studies led her to believe that original teachings had been manipulated to meet the needs of the organization.

“Next came the Koran, which proved to her once again that these organizations were created from revelation received by individuals that had been altered either through their own consciousness or that of their followers. Should a modern day visionary print such things, the words might be taken with a grain of salt. Covered with a few hundred or thousand years of dust, these visionaries’ writings seem to be taken as absolute truth by those who are touched by their words or who have had the words repeatedly ingrained from birth.

“Each of the major world religions that she studied only represented God in a man’s image, and at first, she came to abhor all organized religion. What may have started as one person sharing their amazing spiritual experience with others soon became a vehicle through which to teach. The sheer mass of followers required an organization and the organization required people to accept positions of responsibility toward the followers. Soon this responsibility became authority, and before you know it, you repeatedly had people following instead of finding out for themselves. With authority and power, inevitable abuse of power follows. When doctrine claims God as a being who forever remains elusive and separate, man is forever seeking an intercessor. Alas, the advent of the ‘one and only son’ (yet another separate being) through whom we must receive some miraculous undoing of every poor choice we’ve ever made and who will ’save’ us, since we are evidently incapable of doing so ourselves. In other words, Nikki came to view organized religions as vehicles that started with good intent but ended up as self-serving organizations interested in survival. They could only survive, both corporeally and economically, with followers – hence the salesmen – missionaries.”"Wait, Babe. Are you saying you don’t believe Jesus is the son of God? You can’t just arbitrarily define God or his son, you know!”

“Quit jumping to the end of the story, darling! You wanted to hear my tale, so be patient enough to listen to all of the tale. OK?”

With a childish shake of his head, he bit his lip and refrained from his cherished act of debate.

“So Nikki concluded that by all appearances man did, in fact, arbitrarily create God in his own image – the image of duality consciousness. In so doing, man created the moral authority to demonstrate duality. Good/evil, love/hate, peace/war, acceptance/rejection, etc. You see, if God can be these things, so can man. If God can destroy entire populations to meet his plans, so can we – right? All these contradictory beliefs are securely in place in every single major organized religion and their spiritual writings. All of them! The constancy of our societies is based upon granting ourselves the authority to behave as God, and in claiming that God conferred upon us the authority to do so.”

Unable to contain himself, he exclaimed, “Whoa, lass! Are you saying you think all these great spiritual leaders upon whose teachings these religious organizations are based were self-serving frauds? Are you saying Jesus was a fraud?” The look in his eyes reflected torture.

“Not at all, love. Now, you promised to listen, didn’t you? Let me continue for a bit and I think your question will be answered fully.”

“OK, OK. It’s just that…” the sighed heavily, “well, OK, Nik. I’ll be quite for now.”

“But our Nikki felt in the depths of her soul that she and all life, had been created by an intelligence of order and supreme consciousness. She hoped she was, in fact, made in the image of likeness of God, but could not understand how God could possibly be this duality that surrounded her. Also, the belief in the omnipresence of God inspired her, for that would mean God existed within her as well.

“From her childhood training within the LDS Church she remembered that its founder, Joseph Smith, had read a scripture in the Bible which inspired him to go into the woods and pray for guidance regarding which religious organization to join. From James 1:5 Smith read, ‘If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him. But, let him ask in faith, nothing waivering…’ His sincere prayer brought a direct experience with God in which instructions were given to unearth certain hidden golden plates. These ancient plates had been inscribed by the native people and told not only their history, but also provided ancient spiritual instructions in an unadulterated manner.

“Perhaps due to my childhood training, I believed that Joseph had, in fact, experienced something very real. But even in his experience, Joseph described what he saw as God the Father and Jesus Christ appearing as separate, individual beings with tangible bodies. Regardless of the contradiction to most religious beliefs, even in this, the words of James ran repeatedly through my head until one day, completely discouraged with the ways of the world, I too knelt down to ask in faith as to the truth of things.
“God did not appear to me, nor did Jesus, or any angelic beings. I spent many nights in prayer in complete anticipation of some marvelous being appearing in my bedroom. Somehow, I just knew there must be a Divine creator who cared enough about humanity and about me individually to answer my questions.

“A few weeks later I found myself in an old used book store looking for information on English country cottages. The owner sent me to a dark, dusty part of the basement storage to find what I sought and while in the architectural section scanning the book I had chosen, another book fell from one of the shelves above, right into my hands – literally into my hands. The title seemed familiar, and then I realized in was one among those recommended by Ola; The I am Discourses, Vol. 3; the third volume in the series you found today.”

“Every time I read the books, I would be elated, overjoyed, and overwhelmed with a sense of being home – knowing the truth. This much could not be denied. Within the writing, God was represented as All in All, All That Is. Repeatedly the writings told of the illusion under which mankind has lived, and reported that many have risen above the illusion of duality, becoming masters and ascending into a new state of consciousness. They represented that the ‘only begotten son of God’ is Love and We are that Love, incarnate, and that Love is truly all there is. All else is illusion. Atonement no longer represented suffering and sacrifice, but AT – ONE – MENT; at one with All in All, consciously remembering who one is. Christ became Love – not just Jesus, our beloved brother who came to remind us who we are and who provided through example a pathway home. In being Christ-ed, he became the living incarnation of Love in complete remembrance in action, of his relationship to, and with God. He established a pattern of mastery for those, who would, to follow. Jesus walked our same pathway of earthly embodiment and became an Ascended Master: a being who has mastered himself, his environment, and elements. Like many of the great spiritual leaders who have trod this planet, he loved mankind completely and became a way-shower.

“Most of the Christian religious groups hail Jesus as the only son of God, when even he stated emphatically that he is our brother; we are the same as he and capable of the same, and more, than he achieved. Clearly, I could see that it has been the belief that we are separate from God and that Jesus, some special being, is the only Son of God, that has kept us from rising into our true estate.
“I also learned that it certainly isn’t necessary for me to challenge religious groups and their beliefs. Instead, I learned to honor each of them and found that what I had gleaned in my private education merely expanded my understanding beyond that which those organized religions provided. When people join together to express Divine Love and expand God’s perfection, limitless possibilities unfold because the energy is multiplied exponentially. If this magnified energy is directed to bring harmony to All That Is, it can only be a good thing. If used divisively or to harm any part of All That Is, one should challenge it directly and forcefully.

“It is not until the individual cries ‘the emperor wears no clothing!’ that he can change his own consciousness. One must rise above the chaos and say ‘this no longer makes sense – I’m going to choose another pathway!’ One can grow and evolve without the bitter activity of judgment, destruction, disaster, or unhappiness. Duality is not the only pathway of learning. Growth can leap forth just by preference. Perhaps today I painted a great picture and tomorrow I hope to paint an even better one. Do you see? I do not have to view my creation with unhappiness or disappointment. I can merely make new choices based on desire or preference.” }